Not Me Monday: The one with the bathroom obsessed child

My sixteen month old's new favorite place is not the bathroom.

He does not like to climb on the step stool and look at the baby in the mirror.




He certainly wouldn't brush his very own teeth while in there!




Nor would he ever make a mess by emptying out the bathroom drawers...
especially all of his sisters' hair accessories!

(Or be unhappy about being caught!)

Nope! Certainly not my child!

For more Not Me! posts, click on the top button.
And while you're at it,
why don't you read her post here
about staying calm and sane
while raising 4 (soon to be 5) children.
Brought me to tears.

Not Me Monday: The one requiring a tetanus shot.

Well, it was not me who did something I know I shouldn't have done.

In my rush to get dinner into the crockpot early, just minutes before I needed to pick Two up from preschool, I did not do something that led to me not only ruin dinner before it even got started, but prevented me from picking up my child as well. Nope!

As I was not rushing to open cans to dump into my crockpot, I did not decide that my very-old-can-opener did a "good enough" job and just decide to push in the tomato sauce lid enough to pour the sauce out. I would never do this because I am always patient enough to work with my very-old-can-opener until a can is fully opened. When not pushing in the lid, like I have not done a million times, it gave! And boy did it! And of course, because I did not want to get cut, I did not jerk my hand out of there as fast as I could. Which, judging by the cut on my finger, was obviously not fast enough. Hmmm.

Pressure, cold water. Yup. Only, now I was late to pick up my daughter. I did not bleed all over the phone (or the floor, or the counter) while calling my mom to see if she could pick up Two. Or then calling my doctor for a tetanus shot. No, once again my patience won out and I waited until I could dial without creating a bio-hazard situation.

At the doctor's trip that ensued, they did not tell me that I could not have a tetanus shot! Even though I was well beyond the needing-to-have-the-shot-in-the-last-5-yrs range in cases of actual cutting on metal! There was no information on how the shot would affect #4 so they did not instead proceed to tell me all the warning signs of lock jaw!!!

While I was a little crazy about not getting the tetanus shot, the flip side was that I couldn't get my finger wet for a week. This did not lead to me telling DaddyMan that I couldn't wash dishes....

Just like when I got a 15 lb lifting restriction put on me earlier in my pregnancy...I definitely didn't tell DaddyMan that meant I could no longer do laundry... Nope, not me! :o)

What did you not do? Check out MckMama's blog for other Not Me moments!

Not Me Monday: The one with the gum

It was not my child who took gum without asking. Especially since he knows he's not allowed to have gum. This rule may or may not have come from the fact that the last time he was actually allowed to have gum....I found it -chewed- on the floor. On carpet.

Saturday night, I did not discover my child chewing gum. When asked, he recovered the not-taken-from-Daddy's-stocking gum package from his room. After I did not give him a talking to, I did not figure the issue was officially "Handled."

Therefore, on Sunday, when I was cleaning off our dining room table, I was not horrified and irritated to find gum on my table!!! Not on the top, no, on the sneaky sides. Knowing which child was the culprit, that child was not immediately sentenced to cleaning off the gum plus the grodies that were not under the table. (That would just be gross.) Upon further cleaning, I did not proceed
to find four more pieces of gum!!!

Obviously I was not livid or completely frustrated! Plus, come on, my kid is smart. Doesn't he realize that if he just put the gum in the trash, I might never know about it?!?

And of course, when I sat to to write my Not Me Monday post, wondering what I might write about, I certainly did not find yet another piece of gum.....this time a different color....on the floor, immediately in front of the computer.

Where is all this gum coming from?!? I don't even buy gum!

ps. My child, who is not currently on my, not-my-favorite-child list (who has one of those? Certainly not me!) is now responsible for taking out the trash all week. From every single trash can. Think he might be able to find a trash can to put his not-swiped gum in by the end of it?



Click on the Not Me Button above for more Not Me adventures!

Not Me Monday

I would never use my vehicle as a babysitter. Nope! I would never send my kids to go get their seat belts on (we park in the garage) even though it's not quite time to go! I mean, having them secure in one place while I run around getting all the last minute items together? No way! This does not sometimes go awry. For example, it never takes longer than I think it will. And they never get snarky at each other while couped up in the van unsupervised! I've never made them all get back out of the van to get spankings, only to send them right back into the van. Nope! Not my perfectly behaved children. :o)

On Saturday, DaddyMan did not offer to let me have some time to myself. I did not jump on the idea and then plan on leaving as soon as I got dinner started in the crockpot. Upon deciding this was a ridiculous idea, I did not proceed to introduce DaddyMan to my beloved crockpot. When I left, the microwave was not beeping, One was not talking back, Two was not whining, and Three was definitely not mere nano-seconds away from eating some dog food! I did not proceed to leave without even a second thought! Nope! And I certainly did not get a little tickle of -dare I say it?- joy from leaving DaddyMan with this crazy scene! I mean, I do it everyday. I know how crazy it can get. I would never choose for DaddyMan to have to deal with such craziness. Especially not with the thought in my mind that he might be more compassionate if he really got the worst of it.... No way! Not me!

Not Me Monday

I would never let my children cook all by themselves. Teach them independence? Not me!

And I am certainly not so controlling over certain things that I would need to remove myself from the kitchen, just so my children could actually practice new, messy skills without me taking over. Nope!

So when One was not making cinnamon rolls (from a can), I certainly did NOT hear a big thump, nor did I see One picking up a big wad of cinnamon roll dough off the floor when I peeked in. I certainly refrained from fulling entering the kitchen to investigate, which means I never actually removed one of Two's beautiful hairs that was dangling off the cinnamon roll that had not just been on the floor!

Oh my!

The independent cooking did not continue independently. My only job did not solely consist of putting the rolls into the oven and taking them out. One did not go on to ice the cinnamon rolls himself and they were certainly not super delicious!

I was not a super proud mama at that point! Independence rocks! And when he makes his wife breakfast in bed, she better not send me flowers for raising such a fabulous son! :o)

(okay, I cheated. This is a pic from when we made cookies. )

From One Mom to Another: Stellan

That "Praying for Stellan" button over there ------>

It's there for a reason.
I've followed the MckMama blog for awhile
She's the one that does Not Me Mondays.

Her baby is so super sick.
The tests that MY baby has gone through
are like nothing her baby has gone through.

Is going through.

Her baby flat-lined today.
Right in front of her face.

They got his heart going again
but the surgery they've been planning for,
the one he's not quite old enough for,
the one he's not actually stable enough for,

is happening right now.

Please pray!

Click on the Stellan button for the whole story and updates.

Not Me Monday

We have been working on the essential arm coverage of the cough/sneeze.
An annoying woman at church calls it the "Dracula Cover"
but she's annoying so I don't call it that.

However, we have been working on it.
Putting your arm up is not enough,
you have to actually cover your mouth.

Right?

So when I told my child to practice blowing kisses into her elbow (to get a feel for the right arm placement, right?), she most certainly did not raise her arm up and end up blowing her nose into her elbow!!! My directions are always clear. My child would never think that I might ask her to blow her nose into her arm....onto her jacket!

Oh my! Where would I be without Not Me Monday?!?

Not Me Monday

At DaddyMan's summer work party (at the beach), I did not take my eye off of Three only to find him on the neighboring coworkers blanket. I mean, at the beach, I know to have my two eyes on my three children at all times!

When I saw Three, was most certainly not eating some of the neighboring coworkers food.

It most certainly was not a bag of Fritos....those aren't baby food!

Upon fishing out the fritos that were not in Three's mouth, I did not discover that they were reasonably mushed up. Six teeth could definitely not mush up fritos to a safe level....

So I certainly did not shove them back in his mouth for his enjoyment and let him finish eating them! Everyone knows chips are not baby food!

***********

At a recent dinner to Taco Bell (because we have a high class palate!) I did not get a run-down of a fellow customers attire.

It was not something like this:

Two: Look, that boy has a ponytail!

And a necklace...... but not a bracelet.

And an earring.

One: "It's not an earring when it's in your lip."

This conversation was not very loud and I was not totally embarrassed!


What have you not done?

Not Me Monday

It's that time again!

It was not me who went to a public restroom at the mall with all three of my children only to realize that with only single stalls, there was nowhere to fit a stroller.

Nope.

So it was definitely not me who decided that the only option was to go potty with the stall door wide open so I could keep an eye on my baby.

In a very busy mall? Where anyone could walk in at any moment?!?

No way!

I did not potty faster than I have ever pottied in my life.

I did not say a quick prayer that no one would enter this restroom while I was not pottying so publicly.

And I have never been more grateful to have a very public restroom all to myself!

Not Me Monday

I love reading MckMama's Not Me Monday posts so I thought I would give it a try!

It was definitely not me that went grocery shopping and then only managed to put away only the items that needed refrigerated before I got distracted to another task.

So it was definitely not me that found my baby, the very next day, eating a peach from the bag of groceries that I did not leave out. That wouldn't be safe. An 11 mos old? Munching on a whole peach? Nope, not me!

Obviously I did not grab my camera and proceed to take pictures of the peach eating goings on rather than picking up my baby and actually putting the groceries away.

I also did not tell said baby to only eat one peach and then laugh when he managed to wrangle a second peach and take a bite of that one too. No, I'm far too frugal to eat the cost of a peach for my child's fun experience and adventure with food.

And at lunchtime, when I was cleaning off the table, I most definitely did not wipe the food crumbies onto the floor and then proceed to let the dog in to "clean it up" along with all the other food that Three drops on the floor. Definitely not something I would ever do!

Besides, my dog would never run directly to the table the instant she's invited inside. Never! That might make you think we used her as our personal vacuum cleaner or something and we just would not do that.

Nope! Not me!